the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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