Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize