Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just sent this text using only my big toe
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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