with your own penis?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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