apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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