it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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