yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize