that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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