You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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