I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize