gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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