ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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