i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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