1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize