I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
well you can't waste a boner
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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