wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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