I puked a lego.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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