I will die if light touches me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize