I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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