And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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