HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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