girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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