Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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