I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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