i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
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Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
we're so committed to being not committed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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