We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
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I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize