Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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