ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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