Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize