It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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