He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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