i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize