Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
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Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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