Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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