You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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