Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
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We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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