if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize