it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize