i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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