I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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