I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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