U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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