Got a toothbrush?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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