I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think I won the penis lottery.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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