I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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