So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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