You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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