Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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