There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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