can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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